Last month, I came across a list titled “How To Be A F%#king Man…” written by @GSElevator. Now, the account itself is interesting in its own ways (you can read about it here). I’m more interested in the list. Some points on there are misogynistic or just stupid and impractical. I saved a subset of the list. I want to share the best parts of that list with you today.
While this is not an exhaustive list of values and rules I live by, they are some of the things I have or want to incorporate in my life. I think these can improve my life, and the lives of people around me. This list is probably equally applicable to people of all gender.
The points are taken from the original GSElevator list, but I’m adding my own views for each. They are in no particular order.
Stop talking about where you went to college
We know how hard it is to get into Stanford or the UW. But is that your best accomplishment ever? Just be happy you had the privilege of attending a (good) college. Everyone around you might not share the same privilege.
Join Twitter; become your own curator of information.
I do think Twitter is the greatest social media platform ever. You have all the control over who you see and what you see unlike other social networks that can fuck with your brain. (I own stock in Twitter.)
When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.
Have a go-to drink in mind. Know what’s in it, and how it’s made. I highly recommend reading Proof - The Science of Booze if you want to know how to describe alcohol without sounding pretentious (my review of the book).
People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.
Look, drinking is fun. But there’s a place and time to get blackout drunk - college parties. Know your limit, and don’t ever cross it. It’s the safest bet for you and the people around you.
Eat brunch with friends at least every other weekend.
I used to dislike brunches. But the more I do them, the more they are growing on me. They are a fun and intimate way to chill and catch up with your friends. They work for almost everyone despite their sleep schedule. Go eat some pancakes this Saturday with some friends.
Act like you’ve been there before.
Oh my god. This is great advice. I think this goes with fake it till you make it. Having confidence in whatever you are doing a powerful weapon. I once used this to get into an employees-only holiday party - walk straight in and look people in the eye.
Bonus tip: If you’re crashing a (non-college) party, dress up. Of course you are invited, why else would you suit up.
There’s always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.
Take a minute every day to appreciate all that you have. If you are reading this post on a device, you already have more than what half the world does. Be grateful.
This has been one of the greatest lessons of my life. The quality of my life has become 10x better by not planning every single move.
It’s ok to break the rules, do something different, and face your fears (Go tell your crush about how you feel, for example).
One girlfriend at a time is probably enough.
Don’t be an a$$hole.
Measure yourself only against your previous self.
Chances are you don’t know every circumstance of others. So it’s futile to compare yourselves to them. You do know what you’ve been through, and even where you want to be. That’s what matters.
I guess this doesn’t really work in politics.
Staying angry is a waste of energy.
“Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.” – Richard Mo Nixon
I used to be a hot-head. That damaged me more than it damaged others. But I realized something fascinating - it’s human to be angry, it’s extraordinary to let it go.
Always bring a bottle of something to the party.
Don’t be a freeloader. Your friends will love you if you bring a six-pack (of beer) or some nice wine. I like taking a Merlot or Pinot Noir.
Date women outside your social set. You’ll be surprised.
It will expand your world. I recently met a girl studying art history. Sounds boring, until you talk about how it influences our psychology and economy (art is one of the most expensive collectibles). I also learned about the amazing artist Imran Qureshi. Now, it’s easier for me to start a conversation with someone who likes art.
If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.
No one is perfect. No one knows everything. But some people have opinions on everything. Especially on the Internet. If you don’t know about something, just say “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”. Then research about it - both sides.
Don’t gamble if losing $100 is going to piss you off.
My statistics professor showed us an intuitive study that I can’t find. The results showed that losing $100 feels worse than winning $100 does. My golden rule is not to gamble. If you want to, read The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham (my review).
If you agree or disagree, or want to add something, please let me know at @karangoel. If you like what’s here, consider sharing the post with your friends. It would mean so much to me. :)